If we’re gonna die, let’s freakin’ do it fighting.
so i think i need the whole of the maze runner series written again from newt’s POV
i need the maze runner and what it’s like for newt to see yet another greenie come forth but have to stay optimistic in front of people so the place doesn’t fall apart, and how his relationships with all the other gladers are, how he feels when teresa gets there, and what it’s like when his friends are the maze, because let’s be honest, he probably assumed that they were dead. i need to know what it was like having to watch alby go through the changing and then go crazy after and then sacrificing himself, what it was like having to carry on every day whilst all this crazy stuff is going on without trying to fall back into that dark place he used to be in even though there are multiple times everything seems hopeless
i need the scorch trials and what it’s like for newt to have no choice but to continue to trek even though alby has just died but it’s been pushed to low priority to even think about that, having to constantly wonder why he’s the glue, why he has to be the one to keep everyone together, why all that responsibility is on his shoulders. i need to know what he first thought of jorge and what it was like going through their version of the tunnels, and his thoughts on teresa and the other girls and their first sighting of a berg. i need to know what his anchor was, what kept him going, because it would have been a lot harder for him than a lot of people . i need to know what was going through his mind when thomas was captured, and if he honestly thought they’d get him back this time, and what he thought as they fought to get to the safe haven and through everything that followed
i need the death cure because i need to know what newt’s third trial was, and what his first thoughts were as he heard he wasn’t immune, or at least when it confirmed what were probably his initial suspicions, i need to know if there was maybe a little part of him that hoped minho and thomas would be able to do something, find some way to help, and if that’s the only thing that kept him grounded. i need to know what it was like when he punched minho and if he felt guilty and what was going through his mind once he was left by himself and wondering if that was going to end up being one of their last conversations. i need to know when he thought the ‘right time’ would be, and why he thought thomas would know, and even though he knew thomas wouldn’t want to do it, he knew he could never ever get minho to do that to him and thomas was his only option. i need to know what it felt like when he was captured off the berg and brought to the crank palace and he believed that really would be their last conversation because he didn’t want to have to talk to them again whilst he was in there, and how it felt to hold a launcher at one of his best friends’ face. i need to know if he ever broke down and cried, just for a second or a minute or an hour, because everything had turned to klunk and there was nothing left he could do about it. i need to know how things were for him when he saw tommy again, and how hard it was to try and tell him to leave and then to tell him to kill him. someone he’d grown so close to and now he was asking him to do the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. the whole situation bringing him back to the days in the maze, where everything seemed hopeless, but this time he’s had actual proof from WICKED that it is hopeless for him, and nothing hurts more than not being able to pretend that everything will get better. and so as he looks into thomas’ eyes he can’t tell if he’s more scared or determined or it’s the flare taking over his mind, but then there’s one last moment of peace as he sees thomas go for the trigger, and then he’s gone.
i just really need it
“She smiled for the first time, and he almost had to look away, as if something that nice didn’t belong in such a glum and gray place, as if he had no right to look at her expression.”
If you ain’t scared, you ain’t human.